Athena Tan

How many times

have I told you to be mind-

full,

 

my father says but this is not

what I had in mind

when I had told myself

numerous times,

Girl, how many times

have I told you

to live life

the way you wanted to?

 

How many times have I told

you that I need those files

returned tome,

don’t you remember

promising this to me,

don’t you remember

acknowledging

and nodding and promising to

someone else

about their whims?

 

Please tell me that you remember,

dear girl, I do not think

that you are the type of

person to forget about your

 

own dream

and the life that you own;

dear girl can you please

be more mindful

about your  life

and more aware about using

your life to live like how

other people want,

exactly like how they would

like you to live,

 

dear girl, in this

world right now, to live

means to live with your eyes closed

and your third-eye open;

the third eye is not the devil’s

nor is it the wandering spirit’s,

but rather it is the window

that the people around you,

who are not

 

you; it is their window

and they want you to

see out of it.

 

How many times have I told you

to return me the plastic case

of papers

of testimonials

of portfolios,

of achievements,

of letters typed neatly

containing all

my hopes and dreams

and aspirations for the future? How

many times have I told

 

you, you, you

don’t need to have a dream

as long as you go on the right path,

then it is okay.

 

It is okay for

you, because I say so.

How many times have I told you,

dear girl,

to live the life you

always wanted to live?

 

None. You have not

told me any of that,

because as myself, my case

is weak, my resolve, shaky,

my eyes, leaking with tears

as I regret all the

windows I looked out of

that weren’t

 

mine to begin with.